When the “Stay Home, Stay Safe’’ order was put in place, the Lovely-Tetreau family found themselves suddenly trying to find a new normal.
Angie and her husband, Todd, were at home with two of their seven children, Olivia Tetreau, 26, and Delaney Lovely, 14.
Delaney had been a surprise blessing. Angie and her late husband, Rob, had struggled with years of infertility and pregnancy loss before adopting their four children, including Olivia, who suffered prenatal cocaine exposure that caused developmental disabilities. She also is on the autism spectrum.
Tragically, Rob passed away from cancer when Olivia was only six years old. Angie later married Todd Lovely, who brought two children from a previous marriage into their newly-blended family.
Three months after their marriage, Angie was shocked to discover that she was pregnant. At 40 years old and after years of infertility, she was going to have a baby.
“And that was Delaney,” she said. “She kind of helped blend our families. God knew what we needed without us even knowing we needed that. She came into our family with a purpose.”
Filling the Bucket
Angie describes Delaney as a “bucket-filler,” a concept instilled in her by her years at Blessed Sacrament and St. Brigid of Kildare Catholic Schools. A bucket-filler, she said, is someone who sees a need and steps up to fill it.
During the shelter-in-place order, Delaney saw her family’s needs both for a routine and for a sense of normalcy for Olivia.
Olivia was no longer receiving staffing services or attending the CARE program at Blessed Sacrament Parish, Midland. Simply put, her days had changed completely, but like many people with autism, having a routine helped Olivia manage each day.
“I saw that she was struggling not being at her job (at the Arnold Center) ... and she needed a schedule to get through the day,” Delaney said.
“But the best part of watching this ... is seeing the love between the girls.” — Angie Lovely
Delaney approached her mother with a suggestion: she could make a daily schedule of fun activities to do with Olivia. Delaney would plan bike rides and movie times, find new recipes online to try together and make bracelets with Olivia.
“I found it helpful for me,” Olivia said. “I like hanging out with her, baking stuff and (making) bracelets.”
As the weeks passed, Angie noticed the two sisters growing closer. “In helping Olivia, (Delaney) is also helping me,” she said. “But the best part of watching this as the mom is seeing the love between the girls.”
Seeing God Work through Each Other
While Delaney joked that the two sisters are “partners in crime,” she added that spending so much time together with Olivia has helped her learn to see the world through Olivia’s eyes, and she better understands her sister’s needs and how to calm her.
“I’ve learned more about my family and what we all enjoy. … It makes me think of the song ‘We’ll Know We are Christians by our Love,’ because we’re called to love one another and that’s what we’re doing, even just delivering the dinners to our family,” Delaney said, referencing the monthly “family dinner” deliveries to each of their five siblings’ families.
Delaney added she enjoyed the slower pace of life with its opportunities to think, pray and relax.
Someday, they know, life will return to its usual rhythm, but they hope some aspects remain.
“Todd and I hope our family’s deeper relationship continues,” Angie said. “This time has forced us all to slow down and notice how God has helped us to become closer as a family. That is probably the biggest blessing in all this.”
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